Getting a girl interested in you is one thing. But sometimes sex or being in a relationship can change the dynamic. And sometimes for the worst. Knowing how to catch her attention and how to keep a girl interested in you for the long term are completely different.
The problem for most guys is they start acting differently once the dynamic of the relationship changes and this can creep some women out. Sometimes the guy will get super needy and other times he will get lazy and complacent, which turns her off and ruins the relationship.
She showed interest in you in the first place because you were attractive, fun and charming to begin with. The secret is to stay the same as the relationship changes.
I am going to show you a game plan on how to keep a girl interested in you when you're not dating, when you are dating for a few months and after you’ve slept together. Before we go any further, let’s look at how to get a girl interested in you if you’ve just met...
How to Keep a Girl Interested if You’re Not Yet Dating
Women have certain “attraction switches” that they are evolutionarily wired to respond to. There are 5 main attraction switches in the female brain. And any man who can flick these attraction switches in the female brain will get some serious indicators of interest from women.
Now, I am not recommending for a second you start painting your nails black, wearing goggles or silly hats like some of these pickup artists. But I gotta give it to him, Mystery was bang on the money with the 5 “attraction switches”.
This is what allowed me to create feelings inside women even though I wasn’t tall, rich, or a “bad boy”. I realized being tall, rich and a “bad boy” were just the surface layers of attraction. The 5 attraction switches actually go much deeper.
Pick Up Artists would craft fake stories to try and force attraction but I recommend you embody the 5 traits that trigger women’s attraction process. You don’t want to TRY to get beautiful women. You want to be a man of higher value that naturally attracts women. This is the secret on how to not just get a girl's interest but on how to keep a girl interested in you.
The 5 attraction switches are...
Keep a girl interested in you by being pre-selected
Pre-selection just means you are attractive to other women. When a woman sees you have value to other women, she presupposes you must have value for her. I tell all my clients; the secret to being successful with that one beautiful woman is to be successful with women in general.
So if you are on a night out, make it your business to talk to ALL women. Don’t be the creepy guy who is leering at all the beautiful women. Be the super social guy who is chatting with them all.
This will put you in a fun state of mind. Other women will see you having a good time. They will see other women responding to you positively. This will pique their curiosity and excitement for wanting to get to know you.
Keep her interested in you by being a leader
Being a leader starts with having direction and purpose in your own life. What is it you are passionate about in life? When we are passionate, our energy is infectious and will inspire other people.
The second piece of the puzzle is about helping other people. This means offering sincere praise and encouragement to motivate and inspire others.
Keep her interested in you by being a protector
How much do you care for people in your social circle? There is no benefit to her if you are high value but not generous.
You can practice this trait by being kind to people in general, caring for family members, helping an old lady cross the street, and being supportive to your male friends during their trials and tribulations.
Keep a girl interested through your emotions
Emoting means being able to congruently express your emotional state. Being able to express a range of emotions is stimulating to women. This means using gestures, smiling, having a positive vibe and feeling great on the inside.
Women will pick up on your internal state through the law of state transference. If you are needy, desperate or feel like shit, she will feel drained around you. Whereas, if you are feeling passionate, enthusiastic and lit up on the inside, you are a source of good emotions she can feed off. More on this in our article about emotional contagion seduction.
Keep her interested in you by taking risks
You don’t have to be rich or successful to be attractive to women. You can be a starving artist and still attract beautiful women if you are willing to take risks. This means you are living life on the edge of your comfort zone. You embrace challenges, are not afraid to be rejected, and come out on top in the face of adversity.
Being a risk-taker also means you will be willing to risk when it comes to asking for her phone number, sexually escalating the interaction, going for a makeout session or leading her back to your place.
So now you know how to get her interested, let’s look at...
How to Keep a Girl Interested in You While Dating
You’ve got this cute girl you’ve been seeing but it’s still early days and you are not sure just how interested she is. Let’s look at how to keep a girl interested in you while dating long term.
Your lifestyle is what keeps her interested long term
You can have all the pickup and seduction tips and tricks, but if your lifestyle is lacking, she will eventually get bored and lose interest in you.
Women love new experiences. Keep her guessing on what you are going to do next. Try different dates, places and activities outside your norm.
This will give you lots of cool, new and interesting things to talk about. Attracting her with flirting, teasing and push/pull techniques might work in the short term. But actually being interesting and having an interesting life is what’s going to keep her hanging around.
So get out there, engage in fun activities and build a lifestyle that is attractive.
Keep your individuality
The reason relationships break up so quickly is that the guy usually stops doing the things that attracted her in the first place. He gives up all his hobbies and passions. He stops hanging out with his male friends. And he spends 24/7 with his new girlfriend.
The paradox of an exciting relationship is that time apart is what will keep things exciting when you are together.
Even if she insists on spending every moment with you, always keep some healthy space in your relationship. It’s better to have her anticipate when she is going to see you next rather than wondering when she is going to have time to herself.
But what if you want to keep her interested when you don’t want a serious, long-term relationship?
How to Keep a Girl Interested After Sleeping With Her
The first time I brought a girl back home, I had no idea how to react after sex. I assumed she would want a relationship. And at the time, I was living my manwhore phase, so the last thing I wanted was a girlfriend who wanted to spend all her time with me.
So I went cold on her.
I felt guilty and embarrassed the next morning. And that feeling of “I’ve done something wrong” stayed with me for a few days. A few months later, I saw her at a club and I tried to rekindle the spark but it was too late. I had already destroyed her trust.
I realized I could have had a lot more fun with her if I’d known what to do after sleeping with her. If you want to know how to keep a girl interested in you after sleeping together then you’ve got to act like sex is no big deal and be clear in your intent.
Act like sex is no big deal
Sex happens very naturally when two people are enjoying each other’s company. It doesn’t mean you are committing to a serious relationship or some other hidden agreement. It is what it is.
When you start acting weird after sleeping together it can ruin her trust in you and destroy any chance of you getting together with her in the future. I’ve found that once a woman is enjoying your company and having fun, she will want to keep seeing you even if an exclusive relationship is not on the table.
The key is to keep the same relaxed, cool and charming vibe before you start sleeping with her. You don’t need to talk about what it meant or what the future status of your relationship is unless you’re both ready for that conversation.
Be clear in your intent
Know whether you want to keep the relationship casual or if you want things to develop into a long-term relationship before you sleep with her.
The worst thing you can do is send mixed signals. This messes with her sense of trust and it will create a headache for you in the future. Pretending you want to be in a relationship when you don’t just to get laid will backfire on you eventually.
And like I said, a lot of women will want to continue hooking up with you once she is having fun and enjoying your company even if an exclusive relationship isn’t an option.
If you want to maintain the tone of a “Friends with Benefits” relationship then your actions must be congruent with your intentions. Avoid intimate cuddles after sleeping together, don’t let her stay the night, be clear that you are not looking for a long-term relationship, don’t do “cute” things together or introduce her to your friends and family.
Getting a girl interested in you before and after dating requires different strategies but the general principle is the same, keep being your authentic self and be clear in your intent. You want to maintain the same traits that attracted her to you. But at the same time, you want to be clear about your intentions.
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