If you’re wondering how to get girls, you’re not alone. It’s a common adage that women are a mystery to men, and that’s partly because men are LIED to about what women really want.
The media lies to them and--in many cases--the women themselves lie to them. They’re lied to by the media and--in many cases--they’re lied to by women themselves.
Below, we reveal the lies that most men believe about how to get girls, why these myths exist and the steps you should actually take to improve your dating life.
How to Get Girls: The Truth about What Women Want
Women say they want a “nice” man who treats them like a goddess and only loves them.
Men are taught the same by Disney films and romantic comedies. You win a woman’s heart by showing how much you love her.
That's it…
And if she doesn't like it, show her MORE love.
- Chase her to the airport and beg her to miss her flight;
- Serenade her with a ukulele outside her bedroom window;
- Send 365 handwritten letters, then build her a house;
- Get Will Smith to stalk her and learn every intimate detail of her life.
Whatever it takes…
Oh, and don't you dare chase anyone else in the meantime. That makes you an evil guy and would upset your fair angel.
The media teaches us that some guys stink and nice guys always win; that the best way to make a woman think about you is to be over-the-top.
Yet, what happens when a single dude frames himself as the loyal man who’ll do anything to get his one beautiful princess?
She runs away…
At best, she stays and keeps him as a friend. At worst, she feels repulsed by this needy behavior.
So, what’s going on here?
The truth is: while women do want a man who makes romantic gestures, that’s not until after he’s proven he’s a high-value guy.
Does a high-value man put so much time and emotion into showing love for women he just met?
No.
His time is valuable. He has other important pursuits. What’s more, he probably already has an abundance of romantic options, so why bend over backwards for a woman he barely knows?
Women should be chasing the truly high-value men, not the other way around.
Deep down, they want it to be this way. They enjoy the uncertainty of wondering whether something is going to happen with a specific guy. It’s this that shows her he’s high-value--and it’s this that makes her feel like a champion when she finally catches him.
That’s not to say a man shouldn’t make any efforts to meet the woman he desires. We’ll explore the steps he should take later.
Before that, it’s important to bust another of the most common myths about what women want.
The Truth about Looks and Money: Is It the Secret to How to Get Girls?
It’s a common belief that looks and money are the two most important factors when it comes to getting the girl. And they are important.
If you’re tall, that’s an indicator you can look after her. If you’re strong and lean, that indicates you can look after yourself--and therefore her. The same if you’re well-groomed, well-dressed and make a lot of money.
These are all logical reasons for her to find you attractive. You shouldn't ignore them.
However, it’s well-documented that humans primarily make decisions based on emotions, not logic. This is particularly true of women--the more emotional sex.
That’s why it’s arguably more important for men to use their personalities to win over a woman’s emotions.
This is possible regardless of your wealth or what you look like.
How to Win Over a Woman’s Emotions
This is a huge topic--and it’s worth exploring the rest of the HeartInsider blog to learn as much as you can about being an attractive man. Here, we’ll summarize five key steps that’ll put you way ahead of most men in the dating game.
1. Approach her with confidence
If there's one secret to getting a girl's attention, it's being confident.
Most guys are too paralyzed by approach anxiety or held back by the mistaken belief they’re too ugly/poor to stand a chance. Most of those who do approach her will half-step it because they anticipate rejection. Perhaps they’ll try to sneak their way into her pants by being “friends first” or get sloppy-drunk in an effort to discover Dutch courage.
If you can approach her with solid eye contact, confident body language and an assertive voice, you’re already way ahead of the pack.
Perhaps she won’t show much enthusiasm at first because she expects another scared, drunk loser. Still, if you can remain assured and fun during the opening moments of conversation, you can win her over.
2. Don’t supplicate
Most potential suitors melt at the feet of a beautiful woman. They practically worship everything she has to say. They’re too afraid to disagree or even playfully poke fun at her. They also crumble at every shit test thrown their way.
This is too boring and one-dimensional for her. Remember, women like the “will he, won’t he” of meeting a high-value man. What women ultimately want is a little more excitement!
There’s no need to supplicate in this way. It’s just the next attractive woman...
That’s not to say you should disagree or insult her without reason. Just avoid treating her like the Duchess of Cambridge.
3. How to get girls by being fun
As Cyndi Lauper famously sang: “Girls just wanna have fun.”
If you’re having the most fun at the party, women will flock to you like tech nerds to the newest Apple product.
When you’re speaking with her, don’t filter yourself. Be outrageous. Make jokes that you find funny. Embody the man who’s socially free and doesn’t worry about others’ opinions. This will give her permission to do the same and she’ll love you for it.
Most guys are too boring or nervous about losing a beautiful woman to act like this in her presence.
4. Get physical
Physical touch can send her emotions into overdrive more than the most poetic words.
The thing is: most men are clueless about the right way to do this. They either fail to bypass the touch barrier because they’re afraid of moving too fast or they show a complete lack of social awareness by escalating too quickly.
The best strategy is to test the waters with small innocent touches. Playfully nudge her as she makes a joke. Fiddle with her jewelry. Lead her somewhere by the hand. Look out for signs that she's flirting with you.
If she rejects these moves or tenses up, STOP. You’re moving too fast. Laugh it off, keep talking and try something else later.
However, if she allows it, you can escalate to something more daring. Hugs, grinding on the dancefloor, kissing and eventually all the way to sex. This escalation ladder can take a few minutes or several dates, depending on how comfortable a woman is. Still, the most powerful way to impact a woman’s emotions is to have great sex with her.
5. Create an emotional connection
You create an emotional connection by getting to know each other on a deep level. Tell her something meaningful about you. Encourage her to share similar details about herself. Progress past small talk and focus on the topics that really matter. More women wish men knew that creating this connection is the key to getting them.
Without doing this, she’ll be reluctant to go home with you or even swap contact details. As entertaining and attractive as you’ve been, she doesn’t know you!
Most average guys are can create an emotional connection with women, but they rarely take any of the four aforementioned steps. These guys have clearly been watching too many romantic comedies and are destined for the friendzone.
You Can Practice and Learn How to Get Girls
When you pull off these steps with certainty, it communicates that you’ve previously behaved like this around women before with positive results. It also shows you’re strong enough to look after her, regardless of how tall, muscular or rich you may be. These are two huge indicators of high value that won’t be ignored.
Women might not admit they’re attracted to traits that suggest you’ve had a lot of sexual partners. The media certainly doesn’t teach men to behave this way. Yet, the results speak for themselves.
If you’re not confident and haven’t had a lot of experience with how to get girls, there’s no need to panic. You can improve on these five steps with practice. In fact, the pick-up artist community is based around guys who consistently go out and meet women to hone these skills.
A lot of good-looking successful guys will naturally embrace all of the listed behaviors when meeting women. They’ve already been told they’re attractive and have consequently developed the self-esteem needed to treat the fairer sex this way. These men are also often labeled as naturals.
However, it’s far from uncommon to see rich or handsome men without the self-belief or social intelligence needed to pull off these moves. These guys are just as useless with women as everyone else. Perhaps they stumble upon a few more gimmes from horny and desperate ladies, but they’re far from consistent when it comes to getting laid and often settle down with women far inferior to who they could get.
By doing all you can to improve your looks and wealth, then also learning how to appeal to a woman’s emotions, you can consistently outclass these guys and enjoy a truly remarkable dating life. You can also supplement all the things you've learned here by checking out some top-notch dating books. Combine that with a bit of practice and a little faith in yourself and you'll be on your way to dating success!
When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Here’s how it works.
