I’m a dating coach who has spent years mastering the skill of cold-approach women, but finding single MILFs in my area wasn't easy when I first started. Meeting attractive and interested women to date is never easy but add the fact that you are into older women and it becomes about ten times harder.
Guys like us face more rejection; we are scoffed at by women who can't imagine themselves with younger guys. Let's face it: there is a lot to prove before you can even get a phone number, an Instagram handle, or some thing. Add to that the numerous dating apps that promise to help you meet MILFs but are a far cry from the REAL top MILF dating apps:
Site Our Experience Our Rating Free Trial Link 
Experience Highlights Try AFF For Free 
Experience Highlights Try eHarmony 
Experience Highlights Try Passion
That's why I wanted to give my fellow milf-lovers a leg up. This is what worked for me; it may work for you, too.
Where I Was Able to Meet MILFs in My Area
These were my favorite spots:
Meeting Milfs in my area at music shows has been worthwhile
Older women love going to shows with solo artists, involving guitars, weird instruments, some heavy vocals, and lots of mood lighting. Ok, so this isn't scientifically proven, but one day it will be. Last year, I decided to expand my music horizons, so to speak, just for fun, and discovered this.
I met a lot of interesting milfs in these spaces and I'm pretty sure you can too. Music shows can also be a low budget way to meet older women. A lot of shows happen outdoors or for free in new bars or cafes.
Dating coach Philip Etemesi says that the key to attracting women at music shows is to pitch up as near to the stage as possible.
“Aside from having lots of options at the front, you’ll have a bunch of girls that are super excited and charged up,” he says. ”You’ll grind on them as the music is playing and they won’t offer any resistance or react badly.”
I met the most MILFs on eHarmony than anywhere else
Let's face it: our lives are lived online a lot of the time - not all the time, but a lot. Some 30% of Americans have tried online dating, according to Pew Research. So, when I started taking my dating life seriously, I wanted to find the best dating site possible. I hate wasting time. To help with this we rank and compare all the best sites to meet a MILF every year.
I'm kind of a soft-spoken guy to begin with and I'm just not here for the back-and-forth and flakiness that comes with so many dating apps. But I went for it and tried eHarmony's proven trial. All I can say is, if you are like me and want to hit the ground running, look no further than this site.
It has an incredibly diverse selection of older women who are serious about connecting with guys of all ages. It is really the only dating site I can say was designed for guys like me. I can't recommend it enough. They do an amazing job of helping you start the conversation and actually build connections with women before you go out with them.
They also have a ton of MILFs using it. They say they have over 30 million members and have been around for a while. Since it's a more established site it seems to attract slightly older women than the hottest/newest apps (which is what I was looking for)
The signup process is a bit long but that also kept out all the women who were just looking for attention. They didn't bother completing it so the MILFs that were left (there were a lot) seemed a lot more motivated and responsive to my messages.
Need more info on how eHarmony works for a regular guy? We’ve created an eHarmony review where you can see how the site works, how you can meet people, and how you might one day find love online!
If you havent tried looking online or had bad results with other sites check out eHarmony's great trial at least. You will probably get much better results like I did.
What people think of eHarmony:
Rina - TrustPilot
I liked this app a lot.
Pros:
1) Easy to use.
2) Talk to matched people without paying extra for each message.
3) Compatibility matrix is good too.
4) It's good app with real people that's for sure.
Cons :
1) Can't see all the members and their profile unless they match
2) can't share pics while chatting.
Emory Sims - TrustPilot
I am very happy that eHarmony has been patient with me because I need time to make some personal adjustments before I decide to date. I am very happy and living the best days of my life. eharmony will help me find the right person. Thank you eharmony.
Fundraising events were also great for meeting milfs in my area
This may seem like a strange recommendation at first, but hear me out. One of my buddies who runs a small non-profit that gives scholarships to underserved youth invited me to a gala to support his organization. It wasn't a huge commitment on my end; I offered to help him out as a volunteer, helping seat people and coordinating some logistics, and got to go for free.
This was a life-changing experience. Not only did I meet an older woman I dated for over a year, but it opened me up to a whole new world of milfs. Milfs - at least the milfs I am into - are thoughtful, engaged, professional, ambitious women who are trying to make the world a better place. There is no better place, in my humble opinion, to meet them than at fundraising events which is, frankly, one of the most low-pressure settings for meeting potential dates that I can think of.
AFF has been the easiest way for us to meet MILF's who just want to get laid
One in six women have had sex with someone they met online, according to the latest Esquire Sex Survey, but you’ll need to find the right website to become a part of this statistic.
When we first started looking for MILFs around us we tried our hand at a few different dating sites and ultimately, found the most success on one. AFF is a place where people come to find each other in an uncomplicated manner. None of the inane and uninspiring dinner dates followed by boring movies or elaborate romantic gestures, where you end up looking like a fool and stuck in the friend zone. This is a platform with over 50 million active users fully committed to connecting people with other like-minded individuals who want to indulge in some bedroom fun.
We don’t recommend many sites or apps for guys who are just looking for some action but when we do it’s usually AFF. We have just seen so many more guys find what they are looking for compared to the other options out there that it’s hard to recommend another app. Sure, it isn’t perfect, but it’s the best option for most guys out there right now.
After more than a decade of successfully helping men find the right woman, AFF has become a leader in the dating space—especially when it comes to meeting women aged 35+. Not only have we seen an increase in activity from women on dating sites but specifically they are looking for more casual relationships with younger men.
On AFF, we gained access to thousands of potential partners around us. Instead of setting aside time to go seek out women in the real world, we spent that time chatting with dozens of women a week. You’ll get the opportunity to meet people you would have otherwise never bumped into, and most importantly, they are all in it for the same reason as you are—to satisfy that inner lust, and then get on with life.
To give you a more detailed look at how AFF works and how it performs for regular guys, you can also have a look at our Adult FriendFinder review. Check out their free trial and you can see what the app is all about. Check out their free trial and you can see what the app is all about.
What people think of AFF:
Brian A. - SiteJabber
I was highly successful on the site. Wasn't too hard meeting women at all. You just got to know what you're doing. First, you must be willing to write a decent profile which is grammatically correct. Guys lose the dirty pics and have a face pic. Trust me I've talked to enough women to know that's not a great opener. Save that for later.
What's your intent? Believe it or not, there are several women on AFF looking for a relationship. You can meet a decent woman on AFF. Within the first day, I had two opportunities in my area to have casual sex. After careful thought, I decided that's not what I was looking for and politely backed out. After that, I just mainly cruised profiles and had some wonderful conversations with all types of women across the country. When you reply to a profile just be respectful and don't start out with vulgar sex talk. Gezzz have some class and the ladies will respect that.
Finally, I met a wonderful woman which we share the same interests. We're hitting it off quite well. Recently I've deleted my profile because we've committed to each other. So here's my review on AFF. It's a great site for casual sex or finding a relationship. You must have thick skin and know how dating sites work though. Cheers.
Justin T - SiteJabber
Some fake profiles, just weed through them and don't waste your time. With a little bit of patience you will sure find some real members. Adultfriendfinder still pretty much kicks $#*!. In my honest opinion adult sites like Adultfriendfinder still work better than any popular dating app. At least everyone on here is pretty much forward and gets straight to the point
Trivia Night has a lot of MILF
So, I understand that not everyone lives in a big city and has access to thousands of events and opportunities to meet people. I live in a small city and went to college in a rural area. If there is one space that is universally a milf hangout, it is trivia night at your local dive bar.
Brainiac milfs, "I watched every episode of Scandal" MILFs, comparative literature milfs, obscure fact milfs, football milfs - you name it. They are all kicking it on trivia night at your local dive bar (and if they're at a dive bar, you can bet these MILFs like younger guys). And you should be too.
Meeting Milfs in my area at Cafes was pretty easy
Coffee shops and cafes are excellent places to meet milfs. A lot of people are freelancers these days and other people are into co-working spaces. Some coffee shops even offer singles co-working days so check those out. This is an awesome way to meet a potential life - or business - partner.
If you like coffee, a lot of the newer coffee shops offer workshops on cold brew and tastings of all sorts. I went to a random coffee tasting for this Japanese cold brew and met a bunch of milfs there. At least in my area, milfs love good coffee.
Experienced dating coach Brian M says that starting a conversation can be a simple as making a comment about your surroundings.
“The girl I met was reading a biology text book and my brilliant opening line was ‘that looks hard’,” he said. “At the end of the day, you don’t need some earth-shattering pickup line that will make how to pick up a girl a breeze. Just be friendly and get a conversation going.”
Try the beach
Meeting MILFs at the beach is one of the easiest way to seduce them. They're already out there in the sun, lounging with friends and feeling sexy. All it takes is approaching them and flirting a bit. If she invites you to rub sunscreen on her back, then you're in for a ride!
“The beach is like a nightclub without many of the negatives,” says veteran dating coach Tony Depp. “Girls’ buying temperatures are high, simply because they’re there, and nobody is approaching them – except you.”
Apps Dating Coaches Actually Recommend To Meet MILFs
If you're looking to meet a single MILF you need to try out a couple of these apps. In a post-covid world the majority of women are meeting guys online. If you're not where they can find you you're going to miss out big. Try these first if you want real results:
| Site | Our Experience | Our Rating | Free Trial Link |
|---|---|---|---|
Best Hookup Site For MILFs | Experience Highlights
| 9 | Try AFF For Free |
Best For Relationships | Experience Highlights
| 9 | Try eHarmony |
2nd Best For Hookups | Experience Highlights
| 8 | Try Passion |
How To Stay Safe On Hook-Up Apps
It’s important to keep your wits about you when chatting to strangers on dating apps, or you may end up a victim of an online scam. These tips should help you stay safe.
- Only use trusted dating apps. We’ve outlined the best hook-up apps available so you don’t need to waste your time with the rest.
- Keep your personal details to yourself. There’s no need to share your full name, address or financial details with your online matches. Those who press you for it may be planning an identity fraud.
- Do some extra research on your matches. Add them on social media. Do a reverse image search. Arrange a video call. This will all help you learn more about whether this person is representing themselve accurately in their dating profile.
- Never send money to online strangers. Romance scammers are masters at building online bonds then finding what plausible reasons why they need to borrow money from you. You can avoid such a situation by promising yourself to NEVER send money to strangers from the internet.
Hiking was great
I am a nature guy. I was a Boy Scout, then an Eagle Scout, and now an avid hiker/snowboarder/climber. I love being outdoors. Lots of guys think of their hobbies or interests as something that needs to compete, or potentially compete, with their dating life. But that's not the right attitude to have, especially if you are into milfs who like young, energetic guys.
So, I joined a hiking group. If I lived in a less scenic city, I would probably join a climbing gym instead. But in any case, I joined a hiking group and have had some incredible dates with older women who love the outdoors as much as I do.
If I lived in a less scenic city, I would probably join a climbing gym instead. But in any case, I joined a hiking group and have had some incredible dates with older women who love the outdoors as much as I do.
Dance classes were great for meeting MILFs in my area
A friend of mine is really into yoga and met his girlfriend that way. I am not into yoga, but I thought about that and decided to take a salsa class. I was one of four dudes in the class and was, by the far, the worst dancer.
However, taking a dance class was awesome because I met a lot of patient older women, one of whom I dated for a while. One thing I learned: milfs love guys who are willing to try and to take a social risk, even if it means going far outside their comfort zone. Seducing a MILF is a piece of cake when she's already pressed up against you!
“I think that it is a great way to meet local women, especially for guys who are just starting out because it puts you in front of women without actually having to approach them,” says dating and relationships coach Dan Bacon. “From my experience, many of the women who attend these classes do so in the hope of finding a guy.”
Spend a little time at a spa
I had never done the whole sauna-spa-massage thing. This past winter, I went to a ski lodge with a friend that was mercifully located near a spa. I had pulled my hamstring pretty bad while skiing. Although walking around half-naked through multiple heated rooms might not be for everyone, I would highly recommend trying it at least one. I have never met so many older women in such a relaxed, intimate space. It was fun.
Check out a cheese store
Cheese stores offer workshops, tastings (with wine), and other events. I love cheese and I love milfs. Where I live, these events are frequent enough that I meet at least a few new milfs at each event. It is a low-key, low-pressure way to meet new women.
Meeting a Milf in My Area at an art show worked well
I have met a lot of older women at art shows. Art shows are one of those rare spaces where you can meet a lot of people in a short amount of time without being overwhelmed. I would recommend going to an art show that is extremely eccentric or interactive. I remember going to an art show that involved lying on these cushions and looking up at a lighting installation.
The art created the atmosphere and it was fun and easy to chat up the milfs that were nearby. If you don't know anything about art, don't worry. These spaces have a lot of people talking about things they don't quite understand. In my experience, it can be very refreshing for an older woman to hear a guy say, "What do you think this about? What do you feel about this?" Listening is sexy.
In my area, these spots proved really instrumental to improving my dating life. Even though my recommendations are relatively easy, I know this might not work for everyone, which is why I want to end this article on an encouraging note. If you are a guy who likes older women, you are a guy who likes women with more - and often different - lived experiences from you.
You like women who have tried a lot of things, who know what they want, and are confident enough in themselves to make space for a young man. Meeting older woman means getting more experiences - especially more diverse experiences - under your belt. That means different things to different people, location, and circumstances. But that is my advice. If you are willing to try new things and are committed to getting active in your community and learning new things, you will meet a lot of milfs. It is really all about showing up and being willing to grow.
A lot of guys want don't want to do that and expect an older woman to take an interest. Maybe they are better looking than I am; I really don't know. But in my experience, that doesn't work. Your willingness to try new experiences and learn new things, even falling on your face, will attract milfs.
Got more suggestions for where to meet MILFs in your area? Let us know all about it in the comments below!
Frequently Asked Questions About Meeting MILFs
What is a MILF?
A milf is a popular yet crude acronym that stands for “mom I want to f*ck”
Are all older women MILFs?
To match the traditional definition of a MILF, an older woman would have to be a physically attractive mother. Sadly, not every older women is physically attractive and 20% of older American women have no children, according to a study from the National Library of Medicine
How many older women are single?
Pew Research data suggests some 29% of American women aged 50-64 are single, Meanwhile, 49% of women aged 65 and older are without partners.
How do American women feel about age gap relationships?
A recent IPSOS study found that men (25%) are more likely than women (14%) to have dated someone who is at least 10 years younger than them. This is most common among individuals who aged 35 or older, according to the study.
Do older women like to date younger men?
71% of single women aged 40+ said they weren’t looking to date anyone when questioned by Pew Research, while an AARP study found that only one in three women aged 40 to 69 have dated a younger man.
Don’t let these figures bother you though. If you can approach an older woman with confidence and charisma, there’s every chance you can persuade her to give you a shot, no matter what her views are on age gap relationships.
Family therapist Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill believes that these relationships can work well when the couple has similar goals.
“The older woman may have more wisdom and maturity, while the younger man may bring a fresh perspective and energy, enriching the relationship”, she said. “However, the difference in their age can cause them to be at different life stages, which can impact their goals and priorities.”
Do older women prefer casual or serious relationships?
Pew Research data suggests that older singles (aged 40+) are more likely to only be seeking serious relationships than younger adults. However, there are certainly some older women who are only interested in casual fun.
In fact, a study on the desires of older singles from the National Library of Medicine suggests that older women’s main desires of dating are fun and companionship, while maintaining their independence.
“These women acknowledged that they live in a couple-oriented world and by dating, they could participate in couple activities like dancing, which many of them enjoyed,” the study’s authors said. “Dating, for most of these women, was to have fun — to have someone with whom to go out to dinner, to go to the movies, to dress up for, and to talk to.”
How do older women like to meet men?
Older women are less likely to meet partners online than younger generations, according to Pew Research. Data suggests they’re more likely to be introduced to a partner through mutual friends or meet in the workplace.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t approach older women wherever you see them! In many cases, a rare approach can make your appear more confident and interesting.
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Contributing Authors:
Joe Elvin
Joe Elvin is an internationally known confidence and dating coach with nearly a decade of experience. He is the successful author of several dating and confidence books that have helped thousands of men find success. While traveling the world Joe consistently finds new and valuable ways to meet and attract women. Joe has a Bachelor’s Degree in Multimedia Journalism from Bournemouth University and he has been featured in many large publications including AskMen, TSB Magazine and The Good Men Project.
As one of the most prolific writers on Heart Insider, Joe has reviewed over a hundred dating apps. He is the site’s foremost authority when it comes to selecting what dating app works for whom. From an app’s mechanics to its algorithm to telltale signs that a dating app is a scam, Joe’s is able to expertly discern between dating apps that provide value and those that don’t.
Andrius Saulis
Andrius, the mind behind Saulis Dating, is a professional dating coach and educator with over a decade of hands-on experience, who shows men how to deal with their insecurities and self-esteem issues, and teaches guys how to have consistently great dates that end up in casual hookups or serious relationships.
He has taught thousands of guys how to master their inner game by getting rid of their anxiety, shyness, nervousness, self-doubt, feat, and various mental blocks and limiting beliefs that hold most men back from being awesome with women! Andrius is also a successful author (Amazon) who has published multiple books on dating and relationships that have been highly received.
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