Ever wonder how to make her miss you?
If you’ve ever missed a person in your life and spent plenty of time with them in your head, you know that there’s a certain charm in being missed by someone you deeply care about. That longing for their presence and the anticipation it brings deepens emotional bonds. With this in mind, it’s only natural to wonder how to trigger this behavior in a girl for a better overall relationship.
In this article, we'll explore ten actionable strategies that help you create a yearning for your company while fostering a healthy and meaningful connection with the woman you cherish.
10 Tips to Make Her Start Missing You
The following are ten suggestions to help you build a more passionate and deep bond with a girl so she’ll miss you when you're not around:
- Always Leave Her on a Positive Note
- Make Your Absence Felt Digitally
- Be a Pivotal Part of Her Life
- Always Bring Your A-Game
- Give Her Space
- Leave Reminders
- Create Anticipation
- Be Unpredictable
- Be a Bedroom Dynamo
- Gamify the Relationship
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Tip #1: Always Leave Her on a Positive Note
When it comes to making her miss you, leaving on a positive note is crucial. Whether it's the first date or regular date nights, day trips, or even longer vacations, always strive to leave her with a memorable and enjoyable experience to cherish in your absence. Focus on creating moments that are about her and her happiness, rather than solely focusing on your own.
Now, it's important to acknowledge that not all moments together will be “good” per se. There may be instances where plans go awry, encounters with challenging situations arise, or disagreements happen. The key is to handle these situations with grace and maturity. No matter what obstacles come your way, show her that you always have the ability to navigate through them with a level head.
Once you’re apart, it’s only natural that the excitement of your time together will begin to fade. However, she’ll replay those memories in her mind, magnifying your behaviors under the scrutiny that women are notorious for (and thankfully so):
- If you act positively, she’ll wonder just how you could handle something that would force her to tears and pine for that paternal role.
- On the other hand, if you act poorly, she’ll look for other red flags in your relationship and start to “discover” patterns of your behavior that will make her want to forget you.
Therefore, strive for positive and meaningful experiences, as they will leave a lasting impression and contribute to her longing for your reassuring presence.
Tip #2: Make Your Absence Felt Digitally
How to make her miss you? By making her notice you’re not there!
We all have busy lives and want to be available to our significant others, but honestly speaking, there will be times when you need to be alone or have to focus on important tasks (like work, errands, family obligations, and school). With the prevalence of instant communication via smartphones, it’s difficult to maintain space when you’re just a text or phone call away.
Luckily, there are a few easy fixes to go “no contact” digitally to make her miss you AND handle your business:
- Don’t answer any emails she sends until you’re finished.
- Avoid any viewing or posting on social media platforms.
- Don’t view any text messages she sends immediately. Instead, leave them left on “Unread” or “Delivered” until you’re finished with what you’re doing. (Don’t worry, you can read most texts by enabling push notifications)
- Turn off your phone completely to avoid the temptation to answer her.
- Put your phone on “Do Not Disturb” to show that you’re unavailable for any distractions (but you’ll still be available in emergencies).
Now, take caution when using this method: If a woman believes you’re deliberately toying with her emotions or being manipulative to make her miss your presence, she may actually be motivated to resent you or fill your absence with another person. Worse, she may suspect that you’re cheating on her–which is a form of “missing” you, but it can spiral out of hand (unless that’s your intention, and not a very mature one).
Tip #3: Be a Pivotal Part of Her Life
We miss what we’ve felt we lost–even if that loss is temporary. This feeling of “missing” almost feels like we’ve lost an important part of our lives, and desperately want it back. And when it returns, there’s a huge relief. This is your key to how to make her miss you.
When you’re together with her, encourage her goals and help her pursue her ambitions. Be emotionally supportive and be genuinely interested in the challenges of her life. When she relies on you to help her through stress or decision-making, she’ll start to miss you when you’re not there to help her grease the gears of life.
Tip #4: Always Bring Your A-Game
Always be her best choice. Remember, modern dating for men may involve you competing with other people, including current boyfriends (that you may or may not be aware of), ex-boyfriends, friends, and new acquaintances. For this reason, you never want to leave her believing that there are better options out there to choose from.
Of course, no one’s perfect, and you’re certainly allowed to have bad days. In these cases, you may tell her that you don’t want to bring her down until the feeling passes or that, if you do show up, you’ll be struggling against a bad mood. If she’s a decent person, she’ll miss you when you’re not there or she’ll understand the sacrifice you’re making on her behalf (definitely swoon-worthy for high-quality conscientious women).
Tip #5: Give Her Space
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. And while we covered how to make her miss you by making your absence felt (see Tip #2: Make Your Absence Felt Digitally), women need their own time alone to process their emotions and pursue their interests.
You can’t miss what you already have, so it’s no surprise that one of the most serious turnoffs for women is being clingy or needy. Give her space and respect her boundaries, so you can give her the opportunity to miss your presence. Once she handles what’s on her mind, she’ll think of you warmly when she’s ready.
Tip #6: Leave Reminders
Physical items left in her space are an easy way to get her to miss you. Here’s some pointers:
- Print high-quality pictures: There’s no better way to stay in her thoughts than by giving her pictures of you and her together. Every time she looks at the picture, she’ll think of you warmly. Printing them works better than just digital photos, as they can be accidentally deleted or buried in her phone’s storage.
- Handwritten love letters: A classic reminder is a handwritten love letter. Write heartfelt letters expressing your feelings and appreciation for her. Whether you give them to her to read or hide them to discover later, you can be sure she’ll save the letters and reread them, evoking fuzzy feelings of longing.
- Give her personalized gifts: Give thoughtful items that remind her of you. This could be something she uses every day, like a coat or jewelry, or it may be an item that has special meaning to both of you.
- Use hidden surprises: Hide small notes or small gifts in unexpected places for her to find. It could be a note in her wallet, a surprise treat in her refrigerator, or a message on her mirror written with a dry-erase marker.
Also, use timing to your advantage and strategize where and when she’s likely to find them. You don’t want to embarrass her by slipping a message into her work documents, but it can’t hurt to stick a reminder in her refrigerator. The advantage of this is that while placing the reminder is deliberate, her discovering the reminder appears spontaneously. - Use digital surprises: Send her surprise emails or text messages throughout the day, expressing your love and appreciation even though you’re apart. These may include a photo of something you saw that reminded you of her or a simple "thinking of you" message.
Important: Don’t go overboard with the reminders. Unless you’re doing it for dramatic effect, filling her space with your presence can get her to take you for granted. Or, if you really overdo it, she’ll find you genuinely annoying.
Tip #7: Create Anticipation
Anticipation in your dating life is created by setting up an event in the future, building excitement, keeping her in a state of suspense, and resolving it in a pleasing manner. Anticipation will keep her in a heightened state and she’ll yearn for your presence just to get some resolution.
How to make a girl miss you through anticipation? It’s very simple! All you need to do is plan and talk about the future times you’ll be together. Remind her how many days something exciting is coming up–even if you just text her “Are you ready to have fun tonight?” Or, if you have long-range goals together like owning a home, something as simple as “Just think of when we have our own porch…”
Tip #8: Be Unpredictable
Let’s be honest: Most people’s lives are dull and repetitive. Be the opposite!
Being unpredictable in a relationship keeps the spark alive and makes a woman miss a man's presence. If she looks forward to just what new worlds, plans, and surprises you plan to show her, it’s guaranteed she’ll miss you when you’re apart.
To do this, start by introducing unexpected gestures, surprises, and variety into how you treat her. Women do love consistent men able to be unaffected by life’s challenges, but they also have an insatiable appetite for spontaneous dates, surprise outings, or special activities–all of which showcase how YOU missed HER when you are apart. Women will naturally pine for a connection when you’re apart, which is why you’ll often hear women say “I wonder if he’s thinking about me…”
Note: Unpredictability should be a positive and enjoyable aspect of the relationship, but you can certainly overdo it. If she doesn’t like surprises or expresses that she wants comfort, avoid throwing her off balance or be more subtle. You can still be unpredictable in the right moments (such as lovemaking).
Tip #9: Be a Bedroom Dynamo
Without getting too graphic, the leftover marks, soreness, and bruises during sex serve as physical reminders that she had a great time. These reminders often last days later and draw her mind to miss a pleasurable experience she had with you.
Each time she sits down in just the right way adjusts her clothing to hide a hickey, or looks in the mirror, you can be sure she’s still glowing from all the benefits that a healthy sexual relationship offers. If you take care of her pleasure in the bedroom (or by keeping her turned on with sexy reminders when you’re apart), she’ll be thinking of the great time she had with you–and can’t wait for Round 2!
Tip #10: Gamify the Relationship
A sign of a healthy relationship is good-hearted competition. Women love to test men, so put a fun spin on things and take things to the next level by gamifying your relationship.
Gamifying your relationship is a form of play. When you can take the sting out of her competitive instincts and instead make it a fun dynamic of your relationship, she’ll yearn for the next opportunity. Plus, the thrill of winning and even losing gives her a sense of progress–something she’ll reminisce about.
How do you gamify your relationship? Use your creativity and start with the following to craft some games she’ll always look forward to:
- Play board games like Scrabble, letting the winner get a reward from the loser. (Here’s a hint: You can lose on purpose if you want her to win).
- Offer spontaneous challenges that she wouldn’t ordinarily engage in. Racing her in a park (“First one to the car has to buy the first round!”), buying a scratch-off lotto ticket, and anything that follows “I bet you can’t XXX” will spark her competitive instincts. You may even find her throwing these same challenges at you, so fair warning!
- Make chores fun with a challenge. For example, if there are dishes to be done, give her an artificial timeline and set a timer. If she knocks out the dishes in ten minutes, she can get a reward. The next time she’s feeling competitive, you can gamify other chores to make them addictively fun–or she’ll miss how you made day-to-day drudgery disappear.
- Give her a Choose Your Own Adventure by letting her pick predetermined options, such as “Pick a number between 1 and 10.” Make sure to write these down so that there’s an element of chance involved. Once she selects, hold her to the decision–even if she doesn’t necessarily like the outcome. This will intensify the mystical side of a woman (horoscopes are a thing!).
- Engaging in extended roleplay allows you and her to immerse yourselves in a captivating narrative, taking on different characters and exploring new scenarios together. If you’re pretending to be a teacher and student dynamic, for example, you create a fun break from reality AND learn about her hidden desires–something that’ll certainly be on her mind when you’re apart.
Experiment with the ten tips in this guide and you’ll certainly find your relationship with a woman improves every time you cross her thoughts. From friends with benefits to long-term relationships, being the man she pines for is the stuff love songs are written about and sung in her car when she’s alone!
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