You've come to realize that the woman you're dating isn't right for you. She might be an okay person, but you know for a fact that you can't continue being in a relationship with her. Now here's the problem: you've either never broken up with someone before or you simply can't bring yourself to do it. So you have only one option left: learning how to get your girlfriend to break up with you.
Yeah, I know, it's not the healthiest thing to get her to break off the relationship. But let's say you've exhausted all options and you just want to get out of the relationship without just going AWOL. Here's how to get her to break up with you.
How to Get Rid of a Girlfriend That Won’t Leave
The option where you're the one who leaves is out the window. I get it. But you don't want to be that guy who ghosts her and then wants her back. You want her to do the breaking up. Let’s look at some tips on how to exit a relationship with someone who refuses to leave (without necessarily getting her to break up with you):
Have the talk
If you no longer wish to be in a relationship with your girlfriend, it is important to have an honest and respectful conversation with her about your feelings. It is also essential to consider her feelings and how the breakup may affect her. Once she understands where you’re at and why you want to stop being romantically involved, you’re less likely to deal with negative behavior such as acting out, tantrums, and even violent outbursts.
Downgrade to a FWB
If the relationship is mediocre but the sex is good, there’s no better way than to open up the relationship to a more sex-focused one. Not all women will be open to this, especially if she has feelings for you, but it can be a way to keep the convenient and practical part of the relationship alive while you both find new partners.
Ghosting
Disappearing on social media, email, and other digital communications might be a way of signaling that a relationship shouldn’t exist. It can be considered cowardly or even borderline sociopathic, but sometimes a girlfriend won’t end a relationship unless it’s on her terms.
Bear in mind ghosting can be psychologically harmful, but if a person just won’t get the hint, you may need to take action to protect your own mental health.
Encouraging her to be attracted to someone else
You may want to give her hints that another person you both know about is a better fit for her romantically. It helps to have attractive friends in a mutual social circle, as she’ll feel more social harmony if you’re giving her an “out” with your approval.
“I’m working on myself”
There’s no saying you can’t take some time out for your own mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. By saying that you need to end a relationship to focus on yourself (which may very well be the case), you signal to your girlfriend that you’re not on the hunt for her next replacement (even if you are) or that the problem was her behavior (even if it was).
Moving out of state
People are fairly mobile these days, so there’s no saying that you can’t uproot your entire life and get away from a girlfriend that just won’t leave. While it’s not an easy move, sometimes it’s best to just create a new start - especially if you suspect that she’ll go out of her way to destroy your reputation, living situation, and job opportunities.
Author’s note: A humorous and unconventional way to get her to break up with me
I once dated a girl that turned out to be… neurodivergent. While the signs weren’t immediate and she was on her best behavior during the first few dates, it occurred to me that I made a BIG mistake once we became romantically involved.
But how could I break up with someone who didn’t respond to normal social signals, or had a very different neurotypical response? Giving her hints didn’t work, as she didn’t understand the nuances of what I was suggesting (she took them literally).
One thing I learned was that only direct responses got results. I took her aside and said, “Look, we are no longer in a romantic relationship, but I’d like to be friends with you. Is this fine?” She agreed and we continued an FWB arrangement (see the previous section) until I left town.
How to Get Your Girlfriend to Break Up with You
Relationships should be based on mutual respect, trust, and open communication - but if she’s not giving you space or the option to end it on a positive note, you may need her to make the decision.
The following are some tips on how to get her to break up with you:
The direct approach
As we covered in the previous section and the anecdote, instead of trying to make her break up with you indirectly, you can communicate your feelings to her. If you're no longer feeling happy or fulfilled in the relationship, it's important to share this with her. You can explain that you think it's best for both of you to move on and you can have a conversation about why you don't think the relationship is working out.
It is always important to remember that, breaking up with someone is a difficult and emotional process for both people involved, and should always be handled with care and respect. Give her the option to end the relationship. This helps you take the higher road at least in her mind, giving her a more positive self-image.
Cheat on her
While it’s unethical, having sex with another person is often the only way to decisively kill off any feelings that a girlfriend may have had for you. You can propose a threesome, focus on the other girl, and neglect your girlfriend. This may result in negative feelings, but it may also be mutually beneficial… who wouldn’t want a threesome anyways?
But seriously, cheating is probably the most drastic thing that you can do and it can leave you with feelings of guilt that won't go away (much like your girlfriend). Only consider this option if you know for a fact that 1) you have it in you to justify your actions and not feel terrible after, and 2) this will achieve your goal of getting your girlfriend to break up with you.
Imply that you’re cheating on her (even if you’re not)
One way to imply that you’re cheating is to leave dating apps on your phone. Whether she has access to your phone or you have push notifications enabled, her seeing an app like Ashley Madison can make it clear that you’re exploring other options.
Cut off contact
You don’t necessarily need to completely stop talking to her, but if you texted for hours in the past, one-word responses can lead to her believing that the relationship is over. This is especially true in younger relationships with Zoomers if you’re older, where if you don’t exist online via TikTok or Instagram, you may not even exist at all.
Tell her you want an open relationship
If you know that she’s not open to an open relationship, telling her that you want one regardless is a good strategy to prompt her to end the relationship. This can be socially catastrophic if you date one of her friends, so suggest someone she doesn’t know for the best outcome.
Become the opposite of who you are
It’s generally not recommended to be someone you’re not, but if you know she doesn’t like a needy guy, it may be time to start being needy. This is true and vice versa if you were physical and now live a life of celibacy (at least with her).
Be sure to study various tips on how to end a relationship with a girlfriend who is not willing to leave. These tips range from a direct approach to working behind the scenes, but the goal is the same. Above all, we want to be clear about the importance of handling the break-up with care and respect and giving the girlfriend the option to end the relationship. For more info on how to date successfully, read HeartInsider’ vast library of articles and guides designed to help you navigate the modern dating landscape.
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