Learning how to be confident around guys is extremely important.
It is essential to be able to relate, connect, and bond with other men.
Without these skills, you will sink into depression, loneliness, isolation, and possibly acquire feminine traits that will keep you from living the best life you can.
But maybe you get nervous around other guys.
How To Be Confident Around Guys
Do you feel left out at times?
Are you not sure of what to say?
Here are some tips to help you learn how to be confident around guys:
#1 - Take up group activities, hobbies, or interests with lots of guys in them
This accomplishes many things at once:
First, you’re enriching your life to be more interesting which will make you more confident.
Second, you’ll meet other guys and be somewhat forced to learn how to connect with them and hopefully, make some friends in the process.
Some examples of great things to do are:
Starting a business and joining a mastermind group, taking up a martial arts class, or going to lift some weights at a gym.
#2 - Being OK with your flaws and laughing at yourself will teach you how to be confident around guys
Guys love to rip on each other, it’s what we do.
But if you’re insecure about yourself, you’ll take this as a slight against you.
A confident man is comfortable with both his strengths and weaknesses and masculine men will test you to see how you feel about this.
Life is too short to take too serious, so learn to laugh at your idiosyncrasies and neurotic behaviors.
Note: There’s a difference between some poking fun in good humor and outright acting like an asshole.
Use your intuition (and check if they’re smiling) to know if someone is having fun with you or is actually being a dick.
#3 - Constantly work to improve yourself and your life
Inherently being happy with your life makes you more confident.
“Look at all I’ve done, all I have, and who I am. Who wouldn’t want to meet me?”
Never stop improving.
Always read more books.
Always examine your belief systems.
Always try new things.
Always push your comfort zone.
By doing this you’re continuously growing into the man you want and are destined to become.
…Just be sure you’re also OK with where you are right now as well, and take stock of all you’ve done and have so far.
Even if you’re a bit far off from where you want to be, this is important for your emotional health and well-being.
#4 - Develop good body language and posture
Usually, you’ll notice more “alpha” guys standing taller, being more muscular, keeping open body language, and making stronger eye contact.
Learning how to be confident around guys involves working on these items if you have trouble with them.
Here’s how:
- Do stretching exercises to fix your posture (see here).
- Get to the gym to build up some muscle.
- Try not to cross your arms or fold in on yourself when standing.
Imagine there’s a piece of string tied to your head all the way down your spine lifting you straight up.
Stand firm with your chest up and out.
- Focus on maintaining eye contact when talking to people and if someone looks at you, don’t inherently look down.
Smile at them warmly.
- Don’t shift your weight around lots while standing.
Anxious people do this and it sub-communicates a lack of confidence.
Plant your feet firmly on the ground and don’t move.
- Use light touches on the shoulders and arms of other people to emphasize points.
Touching is associated with dominance.
Don’t over do this though.
A bit shows confidence, but a lot is creepy (and could send the wrong message to other men).
- Make a good first impression.
Always shake hands firmly and smile.
No cold fish grips here.
#5 - Speak and move slower
Anxious people, or those that think someone will cut them off without letting them speak, will tend to speak and move much faster.
This inherently demonstrates lower confidence:
I’m not important enough for people to wait for me, so I’d better finish what I’m saying or doing SUPER fast.
Have you ever noticed that confident public figures have a very slow speaking cadence?
For example, think about Barack Obama:
His speeches seem very calculated, with precise pauses and emphasis points.
If you want to be more confident and feel less stressed, work on speaking and moving slower.
#6 - Work on your relationship with your Dad
This might seem a bit deep compared to the other points, but your Dad is the first male relationship you have and it sets the tone for all your future male relationships.
You might have not have had the best relationship growing up, and things might not be the best now, but working on this will spill into all your other relationships with men.
Figure out how to relate with your Dad, forgive him if there are some things he did that you aren’t happy about, and treat him like a normal guy.
#7 - Work on limiting your insecure behaviors
“Insecure behaviors” seems like a broad and general term, but it refers to one of these five specific actions:
- Bragging
- Complaining
- Making excuses
- Explaining yourself
- Over-apologizing
All of these stem from a lack of confidence and self-esteem, and guys will pick up on it.
Not only that, but by engaging in these behaviors, you’ll sub-consciously tell yourself that you shouldn’t be confident in whom you are as a man.
You aren’t accepting your strengths and weaknesses, your present situation, or what you did.
If you want to learn how to be confident around guys, work on removing these behaviors from your life.
See this article for more information.
By following these suggestions you will learn how to be more confident around guys.
As you improve yourself, accept your flaws, work on your masculine relationships, and develop great verbal and non-verbal communication skills, you’ll notice that you build higher quality relationships with guys and are more confident around them.
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